Peter: So.. are you seeing someone? Wade: [flirtatiously] No, why? Peter: I don’t know, I just…

Peter: So.. are you seeing someone?

Wade: [flirtatiously] No, why?

Peter: I don’t know, I just think a therapist or someone might really help, y’know?

Well, well, well. If it isn’t the feelings I’ve been trying to avoidWade Wilson,…

Well, well, well. If it isn’t the feelings I’ve been trying to avoid

Wade Wilson, literally everytime he sees Spiderman

Peter: And, now, here’s Wade with the cute ending.

Peter: And, now, here’s Wade with the cute ending.
Wade, covered in blood, holding a knife: I thought you said cult ending

Tony: Hello my beautiful son, just wondering did you eat my humus as it seems to have disappeared and I was so looking forward to it.

Tony: Hello my beautiful son, just wondering did you eat my humus as it seems to have disappeared and I was so looking forward to it.
Peter: ..maybe
Tony: Fucker

“Vampires are always like “I could kill you if I wanted”, like? Yeah? So could another…”

“Vampires are always like “I could kill you if I wanted”, like? Yeah? So could another human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren’t special.”

Wade Wilson, after meeting Dracula

Peter: I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

Peter: I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now
Wade: I came out to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now.

Peter: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Peter: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Wade: Literally or figuratively?
Peter: Wade, honestly, the fact that I have to specify-